“I know you probably will not read this and/or respond but I just wanted to let you know how much I love your page. I binged practically all your Tik Toks last night and it was a time that I really needed them. In February I started talking to a guy, and all the intentions seemed good. He made comments like “if we got married…” and “our kids would…” He took me to meet his parents. We spent a lot of time together. But of course I had fallen to the love bomb trick because as quickly as that began, it ended. I stayed with him for another 7 months because we were friends, I was comfortable, I didn’t want to be alone, and (above all else) I stupidly thought he would revert back to the way he was when I first met him. Yesterday, he felt the need to tell me about a date he had last night. It hurt so bad. I unfollowed him on platforms, stopped sharing my location, and deleted our texts. It shouldn’t have hurt so badly because I’ve spent the last 7 months knowing he did not want to date me and just not knowing how to leave. But it hurt because I know he did not want a relationship with me (or anyone really) but not enough to stop dating around. I shouldn’t be so hurt but idk. I just don’t have a great track record. I was unofficially with a guy for two years in college and it was horrible. Mentally and physically abusive, and I guarantee you I was told vulgarities about myself that you legitimately could not imagine. But I digress. This most recent guy (the one with a date last night) stung even more because he is my ex male best friends childhood friend. I say “ex” because my friend and I always had chemistry that he refused to act on, so I fell for his friend and we are no longer friends. So I lost a potential boyfriend and my best friend. And it’s sad because there is nothing to do to get my best friend back. Sorry for this long background. My true reason for messaging is how do you date via apps? I was hoping you had a tik tok on it, but I didn’t see one. I hate hate hate apps. Most people feel shallow, I can’t get conversations up and moving, I feel weird meeting them in person, and most want the goodies, etc. If you could shine some light on this and give me some advice (or even make a tik tok about it) I would be so incredibly thankful. Again, I know you will probably never see or read this novel I sent, but if you do, just know you make such a difference in my life + countless others. Thank you for what you do”
My Dearest Bad Biddie,
The only thing worse than being heartbroken is judging yourself for being heartbroken. Stop it, I beg of you. There are no rules to this thing called love or un-love or half-love or whatever it is we have to go through to get to that place where we find a man who will introduce us to his parents and then not dump us after. Feeling hurt after a seven month relationship is valid, and accepting that fact will help you get over the hurt so much quicker than telling yourself you shouldn’t feel the way you do. I don’t care that he was your best friend. You can make a new best friend. You know this, which is why you’re asking me how to date beyond this man who didn’t end up being your boyfriend and is no longer your best friend.
I can’t say anything to help you love the apps, but what I can say is this: nothing is fun until you’re good at it. The art of learning something new is loving the process of sucking at that thing before you get good at it. Jimi Hendrix didn’t wake up being one of the greatest guitarists of all time. There was a period of his life where he likely wasn’t very good at the guitar, but something told him to keep going, and that’s what I’m telling you.
You’re not going to love every aspect of dating, whether it’s via the apps or not. But what you can learn to love is the fact that the apps are a means to an end, and that end is the man you’re supposed to be with. One day, you will wake up to the sound of ‘Little Wing’ next to your husband, and be grateful that you learned how to love the process, even while hating the apps. Okay, maybe the ‘Little Wing’ part was a stretch, but the rest of it isn’t. I didn’t like the apps, but I love my husband, and I would do it all over again if it I knew it would lead me to him.
Your internet hype woman
PS. ‘Little Wing’ is my favorite Jimi Hendrix song.
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