“All the tiktok videos said they always come back. From your experience.. is it true?”
My dearest bad baddie,
No, they don’t always come back. In fact, most of the time, the ones you really love (like really really really love), don’t come back. Because if he didn’t recognize how much you really loved and valued and cherished him while you were with him, he probably is not going to recognize it while he is not with you.
But that’s okay, and here’s why: you don’t want him to come back. Because even if he does come back, tail between his legs, begging for forgiveness or a second chance, it’ll be because he needs you to fill a void in his life and not because he actually loves and values and cherishes you like you did/do. And what’s the difference?
You are the nurse, he is the patient. You: the loving, doting girlfriend, bandaging whatever open wounds he (the patient) has, nursing him back to health, filling his proverbial cup. It’s a one-sided relationship. Nurses and patients understand this. Nurses understand that once their patient is healthy and whole and able to stand on his/her own two feet, that the patient will leave, and if all is well, they will never see the patient again.
And you, as the nurse, need to understand, that your ex-boyfriend was not a man who loved and valued and cherished you in the way you deserved to be loved and valued and cherished. That if he does come back, he will likely leave once he feels whole again, once you’ve been used and spent and left confused a second time why he came back and you’re heartbroken again.
You don’t want him to come back – you don’t need the confusion, the second cut in the already deep wound, the starting over all over again. There are too many good guys out there waiting to love and value and cherish you as the individual and not as what you have to offer them. Go find those guys.
Your internet hype woman
He dumped me on text after 8 months and said he couldn’t bring himself to end it in the way he knows he should have.
Karla Espana says
Thank you so much for this perspective. None, I repeat, NONE, of the guys I loved ever came back. It felt like there was something wrong with me, like I was easily forgotten and not memorable. It didn’t make it easier that all over social media and with my friends around me, their exes always came back. I have grown to understand them coming back is not a badge of honor… and it may even be a blessing in disguise. Thank you for not pushing the “they always come back” message, it is so refreshing.